The phone rings, you pick up and hear the voice on the other end announce that you've got a collect call coming in from the regional jail. As you reluctantly accept the call you brace yourself to hear what you have heard so many times before. Almost certain that the request for bail money is going to come, you begin to reason with yourself as to why you should or shouldn't post bail this time around. How do I handle these empty promises I am certain to hear.
"He/She told you this time would be different."
"I could hear a greater desperation in their voice."
"Maybe they have finally reached rock bottom."
"They have finally agreed to get help."
"How is this going to be any different"
You want to believe and for so long you have been hoping that something would happen; that there would be a spark or a cry for help. Yet on the other hand, is this truly that moment? Or are they just looking for a temporary rescue from woeful behavior.
Maybe you have never gotten a call from the regional...
I have become a huge fan of the Dave Ramsey show over the past few years. On my way to the office this morning the podcast from yesterday especially peaked my interest. I would encourage you to take a few minutes and listen to the first 10 minutes of this podcast as you have time today. Dealing With a Family Member Who is An Addict
Dave Ramsey is well-known for his solid financial advice and that same wisdom carried over today into this advice he gives on his show to a mother that is dealing with an addicted son-in-law.
Dave gives a few clear pieces of advice here that apply well to anyone that is struggling with a family member.
So often in a family's attempts to help there is so much desperation to see change that the family will allow the addict to set the terms of their support.
This is often evident with statements like "If you loved me you would...." The addict will attempt to guilt the family member into believing that they are loving them by supporting their habit. Enabling...
I'll never forget the last few months of my addiction. They were without a doubt the worst few months of during the 5 years that I face the problem of Meth. Not just for me, but also for the family that had cared about me through the entire time.
At that time in my life I was too self-centered to see that pain and hurt that I was causing my family. What I realize now, many years later is how much the entire family absorbs and lives the lifestyle of the addict. My parents, whom with every decision were doing the absolute best they could, often times made decisions that enabled me to continue in addiction.
Enabling is offering the wrong kind of help.
Enabling is rescuing your loved one so they don't experience the consequences of their decisions.
It wasn't until another family crisis arose that this pattern finally stopped.
I want you to ponder this scenario for a moment; my parents are dealing with one addicted adult child living at home, battling addiction, with two other adult...