How to Renew Your Hope After Losing It: Part Two

How to Renew Your Hope After Losing It: Part Two

3 Practical Applications

This is part two of a two-part article. If you missed the first
you can read part one: How to Renew Your Hope After Losing It: 3 General Principles

Hope is so important to human life. Along with faith and love, it is the oxygen of the human soul. With it, we can overcome any obstacle. Without it, even simple tasks in life feel overwhelming and debilitating.

In the first part of this two-post series, we discussed 3 general ways we can renew our hope by using our God-given resources to help others.

In this post, we will explore 3 practical ways we can apply those resources and get involved while our hopes get renewed.

Let’s look at each one together.

Community Involvement

A great place to start giving our time, treasure, and talent is in the surrounding community. We can partner with local churches and get involved with some of the programs they offer to people in the local community. Homeless shelters,...

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How to Renew Your Hope After Losing It: Part One

How to Renew Your Hope After Losing It: Part One

3 General Principals

Hope is one of three things that lasts forever (1 Corinthians 13:13).

But that doesn’t mean our hopes are always fulfilled.

In fact, they can often be let down. And when that happens, we can be left devastated. That’s why the Bible lets us know that a “hope deferred makes the heart sick” (Proverbs 13:12).

We all know what that feels like. We get passed up for a promotion we’ve hoped for after many years. Someone we were once close to doesn’t want to speak with us and we try to make it work but to no avail.

But some of us know what a hope deferred feels like on a deep level. And that is when we hope someone we love who is battling a drug or alcohol addiction would find freedom. Only to stay enslaved to the addiction, keeping us and themselves in the vicious cycle of broken promises to change.

In this situation, we have to find a way to overcome the sickening feeling of deferred...

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When the Confrontation Goes South? How to Respond When the Intervention Blows Up in Your Face  

When we love someone addicted to drugs or alcohol, we ride the struggle with the person. We do many things to help them. And in most cases, intervention becomes essential – we end up having to confront the addict about the behavior.

In a perfect world, we’d confront the person. (S)he would see how much their drug use is hurting themselves and the people they love. Change would occur. We’d all live happily ever after.

But we don’t live in a perfect world.

And in almost every case that is not the way interventions play out.

In fact, they often blow up in our faces.

The question is, how do we handle it when it does?

To answer this, we first must understand what happens. Normally, we will get one of three responses from the person when we try to intervene.

1. Anger

This is the outburst personality type. The person flies off the handle. Screams. Curses at us. Calls us names. Yells. Anger is unleashed on us for trying to help.

2. Blame

This is the lack of...

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Finding Peace as a Parent When the Addict Refuses to Change

Loving an addict is tough.

Not only does the person go through ups and downs, but we go through them with the person as well.

In most cases, if the situation gets too bad, we can leave.

This isn’t always easy. But it is always an option.

Abused spouses can find support from friends and family and get to safer environments. Boyfriends can separate from girlfriends. Friends can find new people to associate with.

But if the addict is your own child, the situation becomes more difficult to deal with.

The reason is that we cannot (nor should we) separate from our children. Leaving the relationship is not an option.

Therefore, we have to learn to find peace when our children are addicted to drugs and alcohol but refuse to change.

Here are the 4 things we need to do to find that peace.

1. Trust in Christ

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds...

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How to Handle Addicts Who Only Care About Themselves

Have you ever experienced the frustration of trying to help someone who refuses to themselves?

How many times have you been burned trying to love someone who is selfish?

The reality is that this is a real problem. And it hurts.

This person could be a friend. It could be someone we are in a relationship with. Maybe it’s a family member.

We don’t want to stop helping them, but at the same time, we see no improvement and keep getting attacked for trying to be a friend.

Can you relate to this? Have you been asking what to do in this sort of situation?

If so, we’ve got some suggestions about how to handle an addict who only cares about themselves.

In fact, there are 3 things you can do to address this right away.

Let’s go through each one and see what insights we can glean.

1. Establish Boundaries

Agreeing to help someone does not mean you become their doormat for them to walk on as they please. This is especially the case if the addict you are trying to help is...

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How to Deal with an Addict Who Always Lies to You

How to Deal with an Addict Who Always Lies to You

Has the person you’ve been trying to help on the road to recovery been lying to you?

Do you feel that the declarations of sobriety aren’t necessarily true?

Sometimes addicts try to hide their situation, especially from the people who would be most disappointed over their relapse.

If you find yourself in this situation, then there are 3 pieces of wisdom that you have to understand.

These 3 statements are powerful guidelines to follow if you feel that the addict you are trying to help is hiding their drug use and is lying to you about it.

But before we explore those 3 thoughts together, there is something we must remember.

The person isn’t lying to hurt you. (S)he is not doing it with the intention to cause you harm. There are several reasons why the person may be hiding the truth from you.

  • They don’t want to disappoint you.
  • They don’t want to lose your support because recovery is still their ultimate...
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Stand at the Gate or Run and Rescue?

Proverbs 13:12 -
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.

This verse is a picture of what most family members feel when it comes to their loved ones. It’s interesting how in the following verses there is a substantial list of contrast.

These differences parallel the rewards of obeying the Word of God and then the following consequences to disobeying the Word.

This one verse really stuck out to me when I was re-reading this passage after hearing a preacher deliver a sermon from it.

“Poverty and shame will come to him who disdains correction, But he who regards a rebuke will be honored.”

If your loved one is currently in rebellion, I know it can be hard to find this type of scripture comforting.

But it can certainly be a great learning tool to help us adjust our response to a challenging situation.It’s been my experience that when an addict typically makes a mess, most parents will jump right in and clean the mess up.

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How to Overcome Offenses

People hurting us is a part of life. The question is how are we going to respond.

When it comes to offense, we can begin to deal with it by asking ourselves an important question. When are we most like Christ?

Is it when we read our Bibles? When we pray?

Is it when God uses us to do powerful miracles in His name?

The truth about this question may shock you. But to get to the answer, we must first answer another question – why did the Jews want to kill Jesus?

In Luke 5, some people lowered a paralyzed man through the roof down into the house where Jesus was. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the man, “your sins are forgiven.” (Luke 5:20)

Now watch at how the religious leaders respond:

“But the Pharisees and teachers of religious law said to themselves, “Who does he think he is? That’s blasphemy! Only God can forgive sins!” (Luke 5:21)

They wanted to kill Jesus because He said he was God by saying that he forgave someone’s sins!...

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When Your Loved One’s Addiction Ruins Your Summer Vacation

It’s that exciting time of year when you’re ready to enjoy the vacation you’ve been planning for months.

The bags are packed, the car is gassed up, and you are ready to hit the road.

Finally, you are relaxed. The wind is blowing as you roll down the windows and cruise to your destination.

You arrive. The hotel is nice. The pool is inviting. And you have plans to explore for the next 10 days.

And then everything changes.

The person you love disappoints you with a broken promise – a promise never to use drugs or alcohol again, especially on your family vacation.

All the problems from the past flood in and hit you at once. You remember the fights, the late nights, the tears, and the efforts to help. All to no avail.

Now, not only are you dealing with someone you love who is using drugs or alcohol again. But you are dealing with it on your summer vacation.

The question is what to do about it.

How do we handle such a disappointment at this time of year? What can...

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When I learned that I didn't have to stay quiet to be humble

I'm 31 this year. My entire 20's has flown by as I've spent them fully engaged and committed to growing a non-profit to help drug addicts and it's been a great journey.

I serve today as the Executive Director alongside my wife for the organization of Shenandoah Valley Teen Challenge. It's awesome. 

5 years ago I found myself in a quandary, we had just made a decision to purchase a piece of property for the ministry that cost almost 1 million dollars. This property would enable us to help more people struggling with addiction. We made the move and for a while, the phones were ringing and our beds were staying full and everything was going according to plan then one day the calls stopped coming.

Like completely stopped. 

It was quite the pickle. 

After I exhausted my contact list to let people know we had space, I began to read books to learn about how I could better market our ministry so people knew we existed. I had never read much into marketing. 

I was...

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