How an Addict’s Mother Can Find Hope and Peace When Your Child Is Stuck in Addiction

It’s been said that dealing with an addiction is one of the most difficult things to deal with in life.

Being an addict surely isn’t easy. But watching your child deal with an addiction is extremely difficult to deal with.

As an addict, you have control. You make the choice of when to change or for how long you will live with that addiction.

But as a parent, you feel hopeless. The situation is beyond you. You’d even change places with your son and deal with the addiction yourself if it meant he could be free from it.

But you can’t. Your son is stuck.

And that is tormenting.

But just because you are experiencing a tormenting situation, doesn’t mean you have to be tormented. You can find hope and peace in your situation.

In fact, there are 3 ways you can experience hope and peace as a mother with a child stuck in an addiction.

Listen to Other People’s Stories

When we find ourselves in hopeless situations, one of the best ways to get encouraged is to...

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Placing the Blame Where Blame Belongs

Imagine yourself flying in an airplane. You’re in the back seat. Suddenly, the plane nosedives and you begin losing altitude. Sitting in the back, away from the controls, you cannot do absolutely anything about the situation. Hopelessness leaves you breathless.

Now consider the same scenario. Only this time, you’re the pilot. The plane nosedives, but the controls are right in front of you. Your willingness combined with your ability to take control of the situation put you at ease. You grab the controls and lift the plane upwards, continuing on towards your destination.

What’s the difference in these two scenarios.

The answer can be found in one word – responsibility.

In the first situation, you were not responsible. It was someone’s else job to fix the situation. Therefore, you were hopeless.

In the second situation, however, you were in control. It wasn’t anyone else’s fault. And since it was your responsibility to fix the problem, you...

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How to Recognize and Deal with Manipulation

Think about how free you would feel if you never allowed yourself to be manipulated again.

How much more of a sense of control do you imagine you would feel?

Perhaps you have been trying to help someone you love recover from an addiction, but in the process the person has manipulated you into frustration.

You always saw yourself as a strong person, able to stand up for yourself. But you love the addict so much that (s)he has been able to use your love against you.

You suspect you’ve been being manipulated but aren’t exactly sure.

In this post, we want to help you recognize if what you are dealing with is manipulation.

But we want to take a fresh approach.

Instead of the typical “5 signs you are dealing with a manipulative person” which are general repeats across the internet, we want to help you identify more specifically if you are being manipulated or not.

And we are going to help you do that by analyzing, not the person manipulating you, but by analyzing...

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How to Encourage Your Loved One While in a Recovery Program

Recovery programs like Adult and Teen Challenge excellent.

Countless lives have been saved in them. Families have been restored through them. They truly are helpful centers of hope for addicts and for those who love them.

But they aren’t without their challenges.

When an addict is in a program, the family often wonders how to help.

They don’t see the addict every day. Communication isn’t always perfect. And sitting around waiting back at home while hoping for the best can be difficult.

But that doesn’t mean it’s hopeless. In fact, there are several ways families of addicts can help the person they love while in a recovery program.

Let’s look at 4 opportunities together.

Attend Support Meetings

It is not uncommon in recovery programs for family sessions to be held. These are done with the family, the addict, and the program staff. Some of them are even done as open group sessions.

Being present at these meetings communicates several...

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Kailah's Story of Hope

My name is Kailah.  I’m 24 years old, born in Trenton, New Jersey but grew up in Virginia.  This is my story.  This life I have been given could be seen as many things.  Some people may even say unfair, tragic, broken, defeat, even hopeless.  That’s how I used to see it.  

Just a few words of what the world taught me to be defined as.  Words played to me by the events of my life to confirm to a broken heart that it was deemed worthless.  So this empty soul began her quest of validation.  Thanks to the powers of a praying Mother my heart was always seeking; a seed beneath the surface, just waiting for the cultivation of a hardened heart to break through.  

That point hit last year and due to a series of events my life changed the moment it ended.  The seeker inside of me knew something was missing so I needed to fill what spaces my past had left...

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Books We're Reading as a TC Leadership Team

This was originally intended to highlight the next few books our Key Leaders we're going to be reading. But after having a few people come back to and share this article a few months later, I thought it would be neat to update the list and make this an ongoing article with the books we read as we add them. 

Since I am also super passionate about reading I will include a third list of books that I discover along the way. I am currently a member of Leader Box, a subscription-based service that sends 2 leadership books a month with a reading guide and allows access to a community of leaders to discuss the book with. Though the pace is fast and it's certainly not recommended for your casual reader.

We have a few levels of Leadership at Shenandoah Valley Teen Challenge. The list will be broken down into which book the particular group of leaders is reading. I'll also create a third list that I'll add my personal selections to as I come across them

Books for Our Key...

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3 Ways to Cope with Seasonal Depression

Many people enjoy the holidays.

But at the same time, many others do not.

The same season that brings joy, gifts, and fun times for some is the same that brings painful memories, loneliness, and emptiness for others.

Is it possible that you find yourself relating more with those who struggle through the holidays that with those who enjoy them?

If so, you’re not alone.

The key is to learn how to cope with seasonal depression and to rise as high above it as possible.

The good news is that there are 3 ways to do exactly that.

Keep Doing What You’ve Always Done

Just because the season has changed doesn’t mean you have to as well. The key is to keep doing in the valley what you planned while on the mountain.

Take, for example, the man in the Bible known as Daniel.

He prayed three times a day, always.

Then, the king issued a decree stating that anyone who prayed to any god other than the king would be thrown into a den full of hungry lions.

But watch what Daniel does.

...

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How to Get Through the Holidays Without the One You Love

Holidays are a great time, right?

Lights, trees, presents, and smiles.

Friends and families gather for warm hot cocoa and fun times around the fireplaces.

But what about for those of us who have lost someone?

It could be that a family member or close friend recently passed away. Or perhaps the person is away. This could be for work or the even more difficult scenarios such as prison or rehab. It’s even possible to have someone physically present but mentally or emotionally distant because of an addiction or other problematic situation.

The reasons why some of us are forced to face the holidays without the one we love vary.

The good news is that the methods for dealing with this dilemma are the same. They involve overcoming the same set of lies those of us who find ourselves in this position often believe.

Thinking that these 4 lies are true is where the battle really lies. Overcoming them and believing what is actually true is how we gain the victory.

Let’s look at each...

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Amos Story of Hope

My name is Amos and I am a 37 year old “addict” working towards a better life through the Lord Jesus Christ. I am always hoping and praying for that better future, but I seem to catch myself being stuck in the darkness a lot. Wondering when this never-ending nightmare will be over – will I ever move forward? This never-ending battle of addiction.

I’ve come to focus on the things that I can change. Ephesians 5:8 says, “For once you were full of darkness, but now have light from the Lord.” I’ve learned to live as a person of light. The more I live in God’s light the less I will want to be influenced by the darkness of the world around me. Romans 12:2 says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.”

In Proverbs, we are told that wisdom will enter your heart and knowledge will fill you with joy. Wise choices will watch over you and...

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Do Not Attempt This at Home

“Do Not Attempt This at Home”

Guest Post Written by my Father, Pastor John Franich, Founder of SVTC.

This is a disclosure we often see on TV or newspaper ads when someone is offering medical help or advice on how to solve a problem or repair something.  It’s also good advice if we have a family member going through an addiction.  Except for this advice, who we all agree is good for others, think it doesn’t apply to us.

I had this very same experience several years ago in the early years of the beginning of Shenandoah Valley Teen Challenge.  While trying to build a ministry to help others with life-controlling problems, there was one developing right under my own roof.  But of course, with a college degree, I had all the answers. But it is very different when the problem is that close to home.  All the education and expertise you think you have when it’s your own doesn’t matter. Even if you have a reasonable IQ your EQ may...

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