How an Addict’s Mother Can Find Hope and Peace When Your Child Is Stuck in Addiction

family resources Jan 21, 2018

It’s been said that dealing with an addiction is one of the most difficult things to deal with in life.

Being an addict surely isn’t easy. But watching your child deal with an addiction is extremely difficult to deal with.

As an addict, you have control. You make the choice of when to change or for how long you will live with that addiction.

But as a parent, you feel hopeless. The situation is beyond you. You’d even change places with your son and deal with the addiction yourself if it meant he could be free from it.

But you can’t. Your son is stuck.

And that is tormenting.

But just because you are experiencing a tormenting situation, doesn’t mean you have to be tormented. You can find hope and peace in your situation.

In fact, there are 3 ways you can experience hope and peace as a mother with a child stuck in an addiction.

Listen to Other People’s Stories

When we find ourselves in hopeless situations, one of the best ways to get encouraged is to...

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Placing the Blame Where Blame Belongs

family resources Jan 21, 2018

Imagine yourself flying in an airplane. You’re in the back seat. Suddenly, the plane nosedives and you begin losing altitude. Sitting in the back, away from the controls, you cannot do absolutely anything about the situation. Hopelessness leaves you breathless.

Now consider the same scenario. Only this time, you’re the pilot. The plane nosedives, but the controls are right in front of you. Your willingness combined with your ability to take control of the situation put you at ease. You grab the controls and lift the plane upwards, continuing on towards your destination.

What’s the difference in these two scenarios.

The answer can be found in one word – responsibility.

In the first situation, you were not responsible. It was someone’s else job to fix the situation. Therefore, you were hopeless.

In the second situation, however, you were in control. It wasn’t anyone else’s fault. And since it was your responsibility to fix the problem, you...

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How to Recognize and Deal with Manipulation

family resources Jan 19, 2018

Think about how free you would feel if you never allowed yourself to be manipulated again.

How much more of a sense of control do you imagine you would feel?

Perhaps you have been trying to help someone you love recover from an addiction, but in the process the person has manipulated you into frustration.

You always saw yourself as a strong person, able to stand up for yourself. But you love the addict so much that (s)he has been able to use your love against you.

You suspect you’ve been being manipulated but aren’t exactly sure.

In this post, we want to help you recognize if what you are dealing with is manipulation.

But we want to take a fresh approach.

Instead of the typical “5 signs you are dealing with a manipulative person” which are general repeats across the internet, we want to help you identify more specifically if you are being manipulated or not.

And we are going to help you do that by analyzing, not the person manipulating you, but by analyzing...

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Carlos Story of Hope

stories of hope Jan 12, 2018

My name is Carlos and I’m 24 years old. I had a very normal childhood and was brought up in church knowing God. I have an amazing family that has always been there for me, with two loving parents and three awesome little brothers. I excelled in school and sports, but even though I had all these positive things in my life, I still wasn’t happy. There was still a hole in my heart that I couldn’t fill. Instead of turning to God for help, I turned to drugs for that easy, temporary fix to my anxiety. 

I started at a very young age and that went on through my teenage years and adult life. I’ve been to jail and prison multiple times repeating the same cycle over and over again. God had revealed Himself to me on multiple occasions throughout my mess but I simply chose to ignore Him. I thought I could do everything myself. The more drugs I sold, the deeper my addiction became. Money, drugs and girls wasn’t cutting it anymore. I started resenting life and...

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How to Encourage Your Loved One While in a Recovery Program

family resources Jan 11, 2018

Recovery programs are excellent.

Countless lives have been saved in them. Families have been restored through them. They truly are helpful centers of hope for addicts and for those who love them.

But they aren’t without their challenges.

When an addict is in a program, the family often wonders how to help.

They don’t see the addict every day. Communication isn’t always perfect. And sitting around waiting back at home while hoping for the best can be difficult.

But that doesn’t mean it’s hopeless. In fact, there are several ways families of addicts can help the person they love while in a recovery program.

Let’s look at 4 opportunities together.

Attend Support Meetings

It is not uncommon in recovery programs for family sessions to be held. These are done with the family, the addict, and the program staff. Some of them are even done as open group sessions.

Being present at these meetings communicates several things. One, it lets the addict know you...

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Kailah's Story of Hope

stories of hope Jan 08, 2018

My name is Kailah.  I’m 24 years old, born in Trenton, New Jersey but grew up in Virginia.  This is my story.  This life I have been given could be seen as many things.  Some people may even say unfair, tragic, broken, defeat, even hopeless.  That’s how I used to see it.  

Just a few words of what the world taught me to be defined as.  Words played to me by the events of my life to confirm to a broken heart that it was deemed worthless.  So this empty soul began her quest of validation.  Thanks to the powers of a praying Mother my heart was always seeking; a seed beneath the surface, just waiting for the cultivation of a hardened heart to break through.  

That point hit last year and due to a series of events my life changed the moment it ended.  The seeker inside of me knew something was missing so I needed to fill what spaces my past had left...

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Books We're Reading as a TC Leadership Team

leadership Jan 08, 2018

This was originally intended to highlight the next few books our Key Leaders we're going to be reading. But after having a few people come back to and share this article a few months later, I thought it would be neat to update the list and make this an ongoing article with the books we read as we add them. 

Since I am also super passionate about reading I will include a third list of books that I discover along the way. I am currently a member of Leader Box, a subscription-based service that sends 2 leadership books a month with a reading guide and allows access to a community of leaders to discuss the book with. Though the pace is fast and it's certainly not recommended for your casual reader.

We have a few levels of Leadership at Shenandoah Valley Teen Challenge. The list will be broken down into which book the particular group of leaders is reading. I'll also create a third list that I'll add my personal selections to as I come across them

Books for Our Key...

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Nick's Story of Hope

stories of hope Jan 06, 2018

My name is Nick and I am from Winchester, VA. This is actually my second time going through this program. I graduated in November of 2015 and I thought I had it all figured out. Once I graduated, I basically told God, “Thanks for your help, but I’ll take it from here.” 

I quickly ended up reincarcerated for violating my probation and for some new charges. I used this time to re-establish my relationship with God and told myself that I would do what I needed to do to stay sober and be there for my daughter.

I did really well for a while. I had a great job, and I was involved in a church and attending meetings. I had built a good foundation. But the more I worked and the more money I made, I started putting God and my recovery on the back burner.

This February, my father got sick and was hospitalized due to an infection in his knee that had spread. On Valentine’s day morning we received a call that he had gone into cardiac arrest and was put on life...

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3 Ways to Cope with Seasonal Depression

family resources Dec 12, 2017

Many people enjoy the holidays.

But at the same time, many others do not.

The same season that brings joy, gifts, and fun times for some is the same that brings painful memories, loneliness, and emptiness for others.

Is it possible that you find yourself relating more with those who struggle through the holidays that with those who enjoy them?

If so, you’re not alone.

The key is to learn how to cope with seasonal depression and to rise as high above it as possible.

The good news is that there are 3 ways to do exactly that.

Keep Doing What You’ve Always Done

Just because the season has changed doesn’t mean you have to as well. The key is to keep doing in the valley what you planned while on the mountain.

Take, for example, the man in the Bible known as Daniel.

He prayed three times a day, always.

Then, the king issued a decree stating that anyone who prayed to any god other than the king would be thrown into a den full of hungry lions.

But watch what Daniel does.

...

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Lindsey's Story of Hope

stories of hope Dec 09, 2017

My name is Lindsey.  I’m 22 years old from Waynesboro, VA.  I’ve been struggling with substance abuse since I was around 15 years old.  It started out small, like drinking occasionally and smoking weed, but then I started experimenting with pills when I was around 16.  Even then it was occasional and nobody knew or even suspected that I had a drug problem.  I started going to a lot of parties and drinking almost every weekend as time went on.  Then, at the beginning of my senior year in high school, I entered into a relationship that quickly turned from bad to worse.  A few months into our relationship I was introduced to IV drug use and that’s when things got really bad.  I was missing school so much that it’s a miracle I even graduated.  It was getting to the point where I was using every single day and stealing from my own family in order to maintain my habit.  

Finally, in November of 2013 I was caught by...

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