I shouldn’t be alive today but God..


I grew up in church. I’m 27 years old. I fell away from church in high school and started getting into worldly things. Drinking, drugs, sex and alcohol. I thought I was living the fun life, staying high and drunk all the time, treating girls like objects instead of the jewels that they are. I had a son when I was 19.

I was so far gone on bath salts, meth, pills, weed, and drinking I didn’t care about anything but chasing that high. On my 20th Birthday, I wanted to die. I was so strung out I was tired of life.

I remember praying for the first time in years that God would change me. Help me become a better person, a better dad for my son, even if that meant jail.

My son was 5 months old at that time and I hardly ever saw him. I just wanted to get high all the time. Not even a month later I was arrested. I overdosed one night and the cops were called and I freaked out when I saw them and spit at them and got 3 felony assault charges. I was a terrible person. I ended up spending a year and a half in jail.

It was in Page County Jail that I gave my life to Christ. It’s the best thing that ever happened to me. They had church services and gave out bibles and I read His word and really rooted myself in it for the next year and a half. I got out of jail and stayed clean for 5 years of marijuana and all other drugs. 2 years ago I was really struggling and started smoking marijuana again. I kept telling myself it wasn’t addictive, it was a plant from God. But those were all lies from the enemy. I started smoking more and wanting to stay high all the time. My life got out of control. I was so far from God and I longed for Him but I couldn’t put the pipe down. I kept chasing the wrong high. Instead of chasing the Holy Spirit I was getting high 3-4 times a day. 3 weeks ago,

September 28, 2018, I was tired of my life. I knew I needed to change. That I needed God in my life. I flushed all my weed and fully surrendered to God. I haven’t had a craving since. The devil has tried to tempt me but I’m not interested in his lies, his games.

He wants to see us fail, but we serve a God who is so much bigger. We don’t have to be perfect to come to Him. He wants us as we are. He wants to wreck us and use us. I’ve never felt closer to God and I know He is working in my life. Not going back, never going back, never gonna be the same. We may fail but we never fall too far for God to fix us.

I’m 3 weeks clean from marijuana and 7 years clean from everything else. I owe all glory to God. I shouldn’t be alive today but God has plans for my life and I pray to one day do jail ministry and reach out to those addicts and let them know there is a change in God if we just fully surrender.

I know all I’ve gone through happened for a reason. That it’s part of my testimony to help lead souls to Christ. So grateful for His love and His mercy. For the blood, Jesus shed on Calvary to save us.